20 June, 2010

You can't hide those Irish eyes.

I awoke, and it was Sunday morning in Central New York. Not much different than waking up on Sunday morning in Dublin. Except for about an 80% humidity difference. And on this particular Sunday morning, like many before it, I went for a run.

I ran down a hill, then up a hill. Then the hill kept going up, so I stopped and wandered home. Yeah.

I got excited on the walk home about eating bread. It’s Sunday! I get to eat bread! I wonder what we have in the cupboards. I wonder what they have at the Farmer’s Market. I wonder if I have any money to buy bread, or if I’ll have to grovel and perform magic tricks.

Then an even more surprising thought arrived: I’m not in Dublin. It is not Lent. You do not pass Go and you do not collect $200.

But I’m a creature of habit, and I have come to know and love Sundays as Worship of Bread days. And because of my unfailing stubbornness, that’s the way it will stay with me.

Even though there’s a pretty massive water barrier between here and there, a lot of Irish can be seen in my Ithaca life. I was potting seeds on my porch and realized the sunflower selection I had bought was called Irish Eyes. Because the middle of the flower grows green little buds.

But that’s just like claiming those silly neon green buttons that have clovers on them to be authentic. It’s just politics. Its politics, and they’re now growing roots on my front porch.

And when I found myself at lunch with the old man today, we were served our meals and I saw his eggs and steak platter with grilled and buttered bread. And I said, “Ahhh jeez, that looks yummy. I want some! Can I have your toast? Please? I’ll trade you a tater. PLEASE?!?!?” And after judging glares from the toddler sitting at a neighboring table, my dad pointed out that my own meal (a grilled cheese sandwich, or in Irish pub talk, toastie), was loaded with bread as it was.

So I ate my toastie. And it made me feel… so, toastie inside. Then I ate my dad’s toast too. And when I got home again, I became bored with lack of housemates or cable TV., and so there was only one thing to do: make toast.

This time I ground up and sprinkled some sugar and cinnamon sticks on top.

I find myself on the porch with the Irish Eyes. They can’t see me yet, they are still in the soil. But I have a feeling they will be popping out soon. Irish eyes have a tendency to do that: pop. Either out of skulls from 40 years of alcoholism, or from soil in a pot from love and water and Ithaca sunlight.

I find myself defending my eating habits to my new co-workers downtown. I am now employed at a groovy little restaurant that serves only vegetarian food. And there’s a big mammal on the front window. And they have a tendency to pounding out new cookbooks about every two years. Any guesses? Yeah, I work THERE.

When I told them I was studying Nutrition and had been a vegetarian for 2 years, they had such high hopes for me…

I find myself thinking about my bread relationship in real depth. Am I too emotionally available? Should I create distance? How much is too much? When does no actually mean no?

I find that not a lot in my life is as developed as the sincere and relentless need for complete and instant satisfaction. Which sounds insane, but it’s not. It’s like when my housemate talks to his cat. He knows the cat is listening and I know it’s listening but everyone else knows he is crazy. And he is. But he’s happy. His complete and instant satisfaction: kitty conversation.

Whatever floats your boat.

My Irish Eyes are thirsty.

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